


The Worst Thing Next to Anarchy (Is The Government)

by astrologia



Category: Bleach, Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magika | Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Genre: Anyways, As N Approaches Infinity Spinoff, Characters will be added as they appear - Freeform, Don't worry, Gen, Hitsuplaya, I'm suffering too, Shiba!Homura, Ship Tease, Ukitake!Nagisa, basically a series of flashbacks after Infinity, here's that one afterlife slice of life fic no one asked for, lots of ship tease, so much like it's a desert and i'm dangling a glass of water just a bit beyond your reach, tags will be added as this proceeds, the SWA provide support for young and traumatized puellae magi, which is both aww-worthy and also slightly terrifying in future notes, yes Juushiro adopts Nagisa, yes Toshi has a (nonexistent) harem
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-07
Updated: 2019-02-08
Packaged: 2019-10-24 00:02:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17693705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astrologia/pseuds/astrologia
Summary: That one universe where everybody in the afterlife decided it was a good idea to integrate battle-ready teen and pre-teen girls into what amounted as a post-mortem military government, and thus, resulted to shuffling the current social norms and power hierarchy, making certain that the ensuing years were filled with many people (and numerous nobles) running around like headless chickens.Others just sat on the sidelines and ate dango while the fire burned.





	1. walk right in (all ye sinners and saints)

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [As N Approaches Infinity](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3553727) by [Corisanna](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Corisanna/pseuds/Corisanna). 



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****PROLOGUE** **

****“** ** ****walk right in (all ye sinners and saints).** ** ****”** **

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Time always flows differently for different things. For humans, it is said that their perception of time hastens the older they grow. For animals, it is the spans of their lives, how fast they speed through cycles, that determine their awareness. For the older ones, the beings beyond comprehension, maybe the denizens of the Abyss of Time, or simply young gods who have an abundance of Life and Time to Waste, it passes in a painfully glacial way; slowly sluicing through the crevices and records of the World.

 

This story tells of the tales of such young gods: those mortals whose time has passed, and yet continued, in a surprisingly mundane manner beyond the Veil.

 

In Seireitei, the months were nearing the balmy weather of summer, and for the lucky Shin’ou Academy students who had passed examinations and requirements, their long-awaited graduation was nigh. The recently-affixed Acceptance Board boasted a total of three hundred students accepted into Divisions, the highest number it had been in centuries. And as it had not been in centuries, the large numbers of female students were ridiculously obvious; it was the large, white, elephant in the room mostly everyone knew, but didn't bother to discuss.

 

Some of the said students, who had been overjoyed by their acceptance to their prospective divisions, or personal offers of Seats from Lieutenants or Captains, had gone out for the weekend, some choosing to go alone and others with their groups of friends. Others gleefully (or in some cases, tearfully) crashed on top of their bunks, deigning to be dead to the world for a few number hours  to get a month's worth of a pleasant night's rest, and man, I can totally relate.

 

Moving onwards, one such group who chose to go out and celebrate by food and drinks, were a trio of former magical girls in vicinity of a Yakitori cart in a small corner spot filled with trees, who had been cheerfully chatting among themselves for the last hour. The food they had was mostly gone, but the air around them remained amicable and soft.

 

“Hello, my Arcadia, my Avalon of grilled goodness.” Kyoko choked on her faux tears as she devoured the skewers of Yakitori before her like a starved man. “We haven’t anything this decent since the entire Great Escape fiasco.” The red-haired soon-to-be Death God wore her hair loose, and from afar, one would be reminded of a certain Lieutenant with the same shade of vibrant hair. The red eyeliner around Kyoko's eyes crinkled as she beamed. "Aw hell, this is  _good grub._ This really takes away the stress of Bath Duty!"

 

“Bath cleaning duty still kinda sucks, though.” Sayaka whined petulantly as she paused in her food-to-mouth shoveling, and turned to Homura with a childish pout. “It’s remedied by the fact that you get first dibs at the communal bath, but you get to clean up the messes everybody and some noble kids leave. Also, by the time you finish the mess hall has _little to no food left_.” Sayaka paused. “It's sacrilege, Homura. _Sacrilege._ ” strands of Sayaka's blue hair (now so long it went past her elbows) dropped to her plate of karaage. 

 

Homura reached over and pointed that out, causing Sayaka to groan in dismay. “Yes, Sacrilege. But that wouldn't have taken place if you hadn't ah, ' _ninja-d out'_ of the dorms just to deliver Nagisa's birthday gifts.” she said pleasantly, sipping her __ramune__ with a soft look, and putting on another slice of beef on the grill. “Besides, did you see the exam results today?”

 

“Yeah! _Jesus_ , I can’t believe we’re finally graduating!” Kyoko chirped, nodding at her statement. “I mean, it felt like literal __centuries?”__

__

__“__ It’s because it __has__ been literal centuries.”

 

“Seven years.” Homura quipped with a small smile, a breeze swaying her short hair. 

 

“Same thing--it was a **_**_long-ass_**_**  period of time. I can’t wait to meet Madarame-san and Yachiru again! They’re so cool!” Kyoko grinned. “His zanpakuto’s almost the same as mine!” 

 

_(And yes, Kyoko, Homura and Sayaka thought fondly, really idolized Madarame Ikkaku for his strength, if not for his and Kyoko's nearly similar fighting styles. It was, as Junko and Kukaku put it, cute like how a baby shark was learning how to hunt from her big brother shark.)_

 

“So you **_are_** slated for the eleventh,” Homura hummed. “It was...actually expected. But I doubt Mami will be pleased with that; you get into fights often enough."

 

"Aw, don't worry!" Kyoko flapped a dismissive hand. "I can just get you or Madoka to patch me up!"

 

"Unohana-san won't be happy about that," Sayaka cackled as she grinned mirthfully. "Madoka's her star pupil after all!~ Of course, that's not saying that I'm not the same!"

 

"Huh, you in the Fourth, Sayaka? I bet you'd just whack everyone with _Baigyo_." 

 

"I would not!" a pause. "Well, maybe if they get too whiny, but I would not! We have the Nightingale Pledge too!"

 

"How about you, Stranger Danger?" Kyoko trilled, ugly laughing as Homura sighed at the old nickname. 

 

"I am…debating on whether to proceed with Soifon’s offer or to enter the Tenth.” she set down her glass of __ramune.__ “I’m good with stealth operations, and on the other hand, I’m…not terrible with intel gathering either. But social relationships are…” Homura shrugged helplessly. "So yes, I really might consider the Second. Miss Yoruichi put in a good word for me there too."

 

“We all know you’re awkward, but we still love you, and support you even if you decide to be a ninja~” Sayaka cooed as she nodded understandingly, ignoring Homura's choking laughter at being called a ninja. “But anyway, it’s still the trial month! You can get a transfer to another, if Second doesn’t really, like, _jive_ you!”

 

" _Jive you."_ Kyoko wheezed, snorting. 

 

Homura hummed, and despite looking like she was still debating, just sighed and nodded. “I guess I’ll get to that.” the black-haired girl took a skewer of Yakitori and ate it sedately. "And maybe, I could make it work. The espionage part. But I'll just...put it off. For now."

 

“ _ _Oooooh,”__ Kyoko and Sayaka crooned, faces equally mischievous.

 

“Shiba Homura, _slacking_ _ _off?__ This is some _scoop _.”__ Sayaka stage-whispered, grinning.

 

“Pining? Maybe a life crisis?” Kyoko replied in the same vein. “Gasp, __a relationship? In the second? or the tenth?”__

 

"The dilemma of two loves--" Sayaka choked, as she mimed fainting with a bamboo skewer in hand. 

 

“If that train of thought makes it to the Women’s Association, I’ll sic Junko-san and Kukaku on you.” Homura replied nonchalantly, as she put more beef over the grill. "Bobcat incident. Remember that."

 

Kyoko then proceeds to shovel the still-steaming slices of bee from the grill into her mouth like a madwoman, with Sayaka a close second. “ _Maaaan, this beef is delish, ain’t it, Sayaka????”_

  
Homura smiled, face the image of a pure white lily. “Thought so.”

 

Silence engulfed the scene, then Sayaka grinned, face full of fondness. “It’s _so_ nice to see you smile like that, Homura.” the blue-haired girl chirped. 

 

Homura was taken aback by the sudden remark, before she pinked, and cleared her throat. “Ah. Um, thank you?”

 

Sayaka laughed, her long hair bobbing with the motion. “What are you thanking me for?”

 

Homura fidgeted, eyes not meeting with Sayaka. “I, ah, haven’t gotten the hang of…taking compliments yet.”

 

Sayaka and Kyoko grinned softly in return. “Well, learning takes time.” Kyoko laughed, putting her arms behind her head. “Like, centuries-time.”

 

“Seven years.” Sayaka replied, nabbing Kyoko’s slice of beef, which caused the redhead to grumble. “But _hey_ , I remember how you exploded that one time back at the Academy!”

 

“What,” Kyoko turned dramatically, pointing her chopsticks at Sayaka, “ _Happened_? Why have I not heard of this?”

 

“Don’t point your chopsticks at people,” Sayaka chastised as she swatted Kyoko’s hand away. “And it was during our third year, when you fast-tracked though Zanjutsu. I only caught it through the rumors, but Stranger Danger apparently handed some kid a hella lot of verbal smackdowns, and it got to the point that she actually held a throwdown with an __entire__ minor family? Like, __whaaat?”__

__

__“__ Rather than a throwdown I prefer to think of it as a well-deserved tongue lashing.” Homura replied, face smiling serenely, although vitriol dripped from every syllable of her words. “Harassment of a younger girl that went ignored for __years__ simply because one is from an affluent family and the other party is not, should not be tolerated. Ever.”

 

Kyoko stared at Homura, her jaw dropping. “Okay but, like,” the red-haired girl grinned, pointing her chopsticks at Homura (and getting reprimanded by Sayaka). “Spill. __Everything.”__

__

Homura sighed, and proceeded to sit still for a few seconds, then reached out for her glass of __ramune,__ took a sip, and set it back down on the coaster. "I really hope that it doesn't rain tomorrow."

 

“...Hey, are you just messin’ with us or are you gonna tell us ‘bout the Smackdown?” Kyoko paused. "Please?"

 

Homura sighed and grimaced. “That was not my best moment, but it started something like this…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man, I couldn’t help myself, really. I just had to, lmaooo. Some ideas here were filled via brainstorming with friends and Corisanna, others by my weird brain. Also:
> 
> Ramune: A type of carbonated soft drink originally created and sold in Japan. It was introduced in Kobe by Alexander Cameron Sim. The name is derived from lemonade. It has at least 37 flavors! 
> 
> Yakitori: basically, the trio are chilling near a Yakitori cart. Basically mobile food cart that grills and cooks food, and sells beverages. 
> 
> Lily: white lillies, aside from symbolizing yuri (lmao), are also symbols of ideal womanly purity. Kinda like the Yamato Nadeshiko appeal. 
> 
> Baigyo: My kinda headcanon name for Sayaka's Zanpakuto? basically means Song Fish, lmaoo


	2. The One Where Homura Hands Out Scalding Clapbacks : I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Homura was a cranky third year student. Shin'ou Academy was a school with plenty of bigoted and self-centered students, with egos to match the height of the Burj Khalifa. Homura does not take this well.

Homura was tired. Dead tired. 

 ** _Double_** Dead tired.

It was not an understatement, as she was fast-tracking through a good amount of subjects in Shin'ou, to keep up the cover of " _The Prodigy Ryoka"_ and to make sure that the Central 46 did not decide that she (and by extension, the rest of Magical Girl-dom) were more trouble than they were worth and simply...depose of them, as they did with...well, various other enemies that seemed to threaten them and the spiritual world's stability in some way or form. 

Homura really wanted to have a chat with whoever Shinigami thought that  _genocide_ was a good, law-abiding answer to whatever external force that seemed to present itself as a threat to Seireitei. With explosives.  _A lot of explosives._

What made it worse was that (and she would never--okay, maybe someday, admit it) everybody was split. All magical girls that were adopted into noble families were given the choice of a private room or a dormitory room (which could house up to two people). While some puella magi had remained unswayed and remained unaligned with any noble family, remaining independents, and thus neutral in the grand, gritty, and unscrupulous political scheme of things; others had chosen (or had been chosen) as potential children to Families, despite the ties and obligations that came with it. 

Not that Homura could talk. Being renamed Shiba Homura was...odd. It was Central 46's decision to give her to a Noble House loyal to the System, to the Kuchiki, maybe (and she wouldn't have trouble fitting in, because she looked too much like a natural Kuchiki, it was _uncanny_ ). But to their surprise, the elders of the clan had declined, even though most times, they would have snapped up this tasty bait like hungry sharks, the power to control a Ryoka so fast, _faster_ than the Werecat herself. 

(Homura snorted at that. If she didn't have Time Alter, she couldn't even graze Miss Yoruichi at her best speed.)

So it was with great glee that the Shiba had taken her under their wings, and to be honest, it was...nice. Kukaku didn't like being called Mother (and Homura would think that it would be awkward to call Kukaku her mother, no matter how nice, warm, and... _Mister Isshin-ish_ she was.) Ganju was like another big brother, who was more open and a bit louder than Ichigo and had a profound love for wild pigs. Despite him being her new uncle, Ganju was more brother material.

Shiroganehiko and Koganehiko were...uncles. Like Mister Isshin.

Real, actual uncles who didn't just call once (or never at all), and greeted her good morning, helped her with homework, and gave ten ways on how to strangle your enemy in a blink and a breath. 

They were great uncles.

(But there was one uncle, another one who everybody knew but she didn't, and when somebody brought him up, melancholy suddenly filled the room; soft, loving, and so wistful.

Homura decided it was best not to ask, and to simply wait. She knew for a fact that there were things best left unsaid, until one had mustered enough courage for them to tell somebody.) 

Case in point, Homura went from Official Kurosaki, to Official _**Official**_ Shiba-Kurosaki, which made her feel all happy and bubbly like fizzy soda inside when she thought of it. She didn't know how well she would fit in as a Shiba, but Homura would try. 

She wanted to make her family proud. And if her real mother and father were here, Homura hoped they would have been proud of her too.

* * *

And so, with that in mind, Homura had chosen not to have a private room; hoping against all odds that her bunkmates for her second term would still be magical girls. After all, how small would the odds be, with the ballooning of Puellae Magi population?

(Famous last words, Homura.) 

And so, it was with great disappointment and  _'I-Kinda-Knew-This-Was-Coming'_ thoughts _,_ Shiba Homura, met her seven-year roommate, Hakkotsu Momiji. 

It wasn't really that bad, Homura thought. The room was spacious, with five tatami mats. Homura, unlike most nobles and like most Shiba, didn't give a single shit about Rukon Souls. In fact, with her minimal Rukon interactions, she appreciated how they knew to live, to think, and to act: a certain sign of a person most likely to survive if thrown out into the wild. 

"I-It's--It ish--" 

Oh boy, Hakkotsu looked like she just bit her tongue. Homura tried for a smile that probably looked like a grimace, judging from the kicked-dog looked that blonde Hakkotsu wore. 

"Let's...start off again." Homura cleared her throat, and tried to channel her inner Madoka. Be relaxed and smiley. Relaaaax. "I am Shiba Homura, a Third-term student of Shin'ou Academy. I like running and dango. I can't handle...ah, spicy food. And you are?" 

There. Homura gave herself a mental pat on the back along with the Kukaku-san Voice in her head crowing ' _atta girl_!' Her smile felt more natural, and Hakkotsu's frame was a little less tense. 

"I-Iam--" Hakkotsu paused, and breathed in. Exhaled. _"I AM HAKKOTSU MOMIJI, FROM THE SEVENTY-FIFTH DISTRICT OF NORTH RUKONGAI!"_

Homura choked, and she couldn't help but wheeze. Hakkotsu plowed on with her introduction, eyes shut and hands clenched in her hakama. 

 _"I AM ALSO A SECOND-TERM STUDENT! I LIKE STARS AND WARM BLANKETS! I CAN'T HANDLE THE COLD! IT IS A PLEASURE TO MEET YOU, SHIBA-SAMA!"_  

"Ah." Homura replied, pushing down the bubbling laughter up her throat. Her face was now pink with the effort it took to not laugh in the poor girl's face at her...explosive introduction. "I guess--" Homura pursed her lips and failed at  _not_ smiling, but managed to pull herself together before she dissolved into a fit of giggles. She had an image to maintain, for god's sake. "I guess we will be roommates for the next seven terms, Hakkotsu-san." 

This was apparently the correct response, as Hakkotsu smiled in relief. "Thank you, Shiba-sama! Likewise!"

...Homura would have to fix that ' _Shiba-sama'_ thing too. "You can simply call me Shiba-san. I do not care for the...honorific."

"Yes, Shiba-sanma--I mean, Shiba-san!" Momiji squeaked, reminding Homura of a highly squeaky and somewhat nervous-shifty-hiding something Sayaka.

Homura nodded, still awkward. "...Okay. Then, will you like to choose which futon you'd like to use? It's in the closet." a pause. "or we could unpack while talking? I am..." Homura paused. "Unused to initiating conversation outside my circle." 

"Y-Yes!" Hakkotsu paused. "Um, Shiba-san, what should we talk about?"

Homura paused from where she was carrying out the futon with the intention of airing it out. "How about...dreams?" 

Hakkotsu's face warmed with brave determination, and Homura let her chatter of learning medicine to be able to help Rukongai kids when they got sick. It was like listening to Sayaka and Madoka talk about the intricacies of muscle structure with Isane, and it was... relaxing.

Homura hoped she and Hakkotsu Momiji would be good friends. 

* * *

 Hakkotsu, being a regular student, was sorted in different classes from Homura, which was an obvious outcome. Homura was (a little bit) smug about her abilities, which had surpassed Newbie Shinigami to Near Lieutenant Veteran. It ground on entitled people's nerves and fed their vitriol, which in turn, fuelled Homura's humor. 

But what pleasantly surprised Homura was that Hakkotsu was a fast-tracker in one subject. It seemed that kidou was one thing that Hakkotsu felt very confident in. 

(And Homura had to admit, her control over her reiatsu was... excellent. Good enough to be an unseated officer, maybe.) 

But anyways, with expertise and confidence in one track subject, came the yapping of all bark, no bites. Homura knew that firsthand (and proved them wrong by spitefully topping on each and every class they had per semester with every magical girl) when the outrage was sparked by nobles, when she was propelled into fast-tracking subjects on her very first year. 

Of course, there were also various subcategories of Kido. While Kido was overall supplementary skills in combat, Homura (and any other good student who listened to Manatsu-sensei drone) knew it was divided into two: Hado for direct attacks, and Bakudo for battle support, and the rarer, which she and Hakkotsu had near zero affinity for (but Madoka and Sayaka had), Kaido, which was the healing arts. 

Hakkotsu had excellent affinity in both Kido and Bakudo. Homura (quite begrudgingly) was second place to her in Bakudo, but was undefeated in Hado. Oftentimes, she could hear ' _Well, aren't the Shiba supposed to be explosive anyway?_ ' and Homura would find herself nodding in agreement, before catching herself and walking away.  

Ranks aside, the problem started like this: Shin'ou Academy was a meritocracy. That was how it appeared on the outside. It was  _intended_ to be a meritocracy upon its establishment.It  _used_ to be meritocracy, and to a degree, still _was_ , but over thousands and thousands of years, corruption had slowly made its way to the roots. Sometimes, parents did the paying up, sometimes, the students did, and either way, the ones with no power often suffered: talents went unrecognized, efforts went wasted, and in the most extreme of cases, where there must be sacrifices, the older students who have clawed up the ladder for years, are the ones dropped back down again. 

As Ichigo would say it, Homura repeats: " _Fucking nepotism."_

Homura  has no idea what it means, but it feels apt for the situation, so she uses it. Somewhat like sipping hot tea and blowing bubbles in it to cool the drink. Of course, being one of the fallen families that were reinstated back nearly overnight into the Five Noble Houses, Shiba Homura was fairly safe from the taunting straight at her face (and the fact that she nearly broke one third year down for looking wrong at Madoka in her first year), but not from the back. She didn't mind much though. 

But Hakkotsu was a different person. Hakkotsu was the psyche of Kaname Madoka combined with Miki Sayaka's sensitivity. In any case, Hakkotsu Momiji was often called out, often by irritated and entitled rich children, and sometimes, out of pure rush of emotion, by some Rukongai students. 

Effects were like now, after the post-mortem lessons of their Kido professor (and copious amounts of target practice), where Homura found herself in the unimaginable situation of being the one to (awkwardly) comfort a crying Hakkotsu. God, Madoka was better at this. Sayaka was better at this.  _Yuzu was better at this._  Homura did not know anything other than just, uh, pat her back comfortingly and sit with crying Hakkotsu under the shade of the pear tree in the courtyard. How the  _hell does one comfort people was unable to be googled at the moment. Please try again near the Twelfth Division building later._

"Ah." Homura cleared her throat, and awkwardly handed over a handkerchief to Hakkotsu. "Hakkotsu-san? would you like a handkerchief?" 

Aw fuck, that sounded dumb. While Homura heard her inner Yuzu voice chide her for her language, Hakkotsu sniffled a garbled thank-you and blew her nose and dried her eyes on the pale lavender cloth. "T-Thank you, Shiba-sama." another sniffle. "I-I'm sorry for showing you such a sight."

Homura frowned. "Your emotions are not a miserable sight. Stop that." a pause. "Would you...ah, want to talk about it?"

Hakkotsu sniffled. "If-if it doesn't bother you--"

"It doesn't bother me." Homura replied, pointedly making a point as she looked Hakkotsu in the eye and sat cross-legged on the grass beside her. "Now, speak." 

The blonde girl giggled and sniffed. "It's silly, but, ah, yeah." Hakkotsu paused and buried her face into Homura's handkerchief. "I really can't stand Asagiri-sama after all." 

Asagiri..."Ah, Asagiri Kanae?" Homura raised an eyebrow. A minor family, newly risen up the ranks in wealth and status through a hundred years. Had produced a few good shinigami in the ranks. "Noveau Riche." Homura scoffed haughtily, and was about to reach up and flip her hair over her shoulder, only to realize it had yet to grow from the nape of her neck.  "Isn't even twentieth on the rankings. Like her family on the Noble Register." Homura looked at Hakkotsu in the eye with all the seriousness she could muster. "The Shibas are Fourth, by the way."

Hakkotsu choked and coughed out what sounded like _'oh my god'_ or _'lord my socks'_ and she sniffled and giggled. "T-Thank you, Shiba-sama."

Homura nodded in the way that made Karin theatrically whisper ' _Are you **sure** you aren't a Kuchiki' _and smiled. "You're welcome. And?"

"Eh?"

"As believable as it is that someone would be brought to tears when they realize the existence of Asagiri Kanae, I doubt you would end up being this bad if she hadn't moved." Homura propped her chin up on her hand. In the dark, her hair cast shadows over her pale face. Hakkotsu felt her breath hitch when Shiba Homura's eyes seemed to glow a bright, poisonous purple. 

It was unknown within the former puellae magi, but during heights of emotion, their eyes...well, their eyes literally glowed. It was a telltale sign (and a good one) for those who knew better. And for those who didn't, well...ah. Kurotsuchi and Miss Unohana could answer that. psychology seemed to be one of the rising professions in the Fourth since the Magia Disaster. 

"I-ah, it's nothing, Shiba-san, really!"

"Something which makes someone cry like a child is not okay, Momiji." Homura frowned. Hakkotsu paused, unable to reply. "Now, tell me. If she used her family in a meritocracy just because of her insecurity in her abilities, then I can use mine because nobles are apparently a corrupt species in the social strata."

Momiji paused, biting her lip and seemingly contemplating her choices. Of course, she was not free of her desire to take vengeance on Asagiri Kanae. The young heiress was seemingly docile-looking, but was, by far not the most pleasant of people within the Academy she had encountered.

Shiba-san was too nice, really. And she reminded Momiji of that stern old lady in the red light district who took her in and raised her to be a __Kamuro__.

“Yes, I’ll be alright,” Momiji smiled back, her green eyes crinkling, and dabbed at their corners with Homura’s soggy handkerchief. When she entered the academy, she did so because she wanted to change. Become stronger perhaps, and as resilient as her sisters in the Teahouse.  

This was just another test. She was sure of it.

Shiba hummed, and Momiji knew by her tone and the look in her eyes that it was not an agreement, but simply something that signified that she was willing to wait and see.

“Homura.”

Momiji blinked. “Um, yes?”

“You can call me Homura.” Shiba-san replied, looking uncharacteristically nervous as she tore up the grass under the tree. “ _ _Shiba-san__ is too distant,” a pause, and purple eyes slide over to her. “And I consider you a good friend, Momiji-san.”

Momiji blinked, and her lip wobbled as she burst into a batch of fresh tears. Homura, on the other hand, froze, and was somewhere along the line of thinking ‘ _ _aw shit, here we go again’__

 _ _“__ I-I’m sorry, was I too forward, I--”

“No, no, it’s just--” Momiji sniffed. “no one here ever asked me to be their friend before and--”

Homura made a noise of surprise as Momiji (loudly) blew her nose. The blonde girl then turned away from Homura and muttered about her hair as she patted it down. Whirling around so fast Homura wondered if she got whiplash, Momiji sniffed. “Thank you so much, Homura-san.”

Homura didn’t really know how to deal with that (though her Inner Karin was belting out the Pokemon indigo league theme song at the moment), so she just nodded and murmured a “You’re welcome.”

Honestly, this was not how Homura thought she would gain her first friendship, which she instigated first, would start. Of course, Momiji would have to help her with the laundry too.

* * *

 

“So, you chose to defend the rukon girl, eh?”

Honestly, Homura has no idea how she got in this situation (though she feels like if the rumor mill was faster today, Sayaka and Madoka would be accosting her about ‘ _ _what is this I hear about the Shiba Homura being the victim of a kabedon today?!’__ ). Homura always made sure to steer clear of the other families in the Five Noble Houses. Similarly, the scions of the other five also barely sought hr out; and if they **_**_did_**_** encounter each other, a polite nod and a __‘Good Day’__ were all the things they ever exchanged. Otherwise, the Shihouins were awkwardly cordial, as Homura was their runaway princess’ apprentice. Sui-Feng seemed to have some form of camaraderie with her as they were both, in her words, “ _ _Yoruichi-sama’s students.”__

 _ _(__ Also, their mutual love of cats might have helped bridge the gap. _ _)__

The third family of the bunch were nice enough. “ _ _Reminded Homura of Junko Kaname during business transactions with particularly slimy people”__ nice enough. But she could respect how all of them were brutally honest. And Homura liked them immensely because of that trait. They seemed to like her well enough too, so that was a plus.

The former fourth family, who were bumped down to fifth, were…unsurprisingly bitter. Just a bit. It was a given, considering some of them were seeing the reinstatement of the Shiba as usurping their place as Fourth.

Again, Homura didn’t give two shits and deftly sidestepped any conflict the more rambunctious of the family tried to pick.

And lastly, there was House Number two, composed of as Kukaku-san put it: ‘ _ _Fucking Stick-in-Ass Kuchiki’.__ Funnily enough, as much as Captain Kuchiki solidified the general populace’s image of the Kuchiki Family image of cool and calm composure, Homura and some other younger magical girls (particularly Nagisa, now Ukitake Nagisa) were privy to some of his silliness, like Ambassador Seaweed, and his habit of keeping snacks in his sleeves to chase Lieutenant Kusajishi off.

(Also, it didn’t help ease the kind-of awkwardness when Renji-san let loose that Homura could have been Byakuya and his dead wife’s kid, and no one would bat an eyelash.)

Either way, most Kuchiki she encountered, barring eccentricities, were aloof to their surroundings. Some did miniscule eye-checks when she walked by the first time, while others just nodded lightly in greeting.

So it is with great trepidation and a hella huge question mark above her head that Homura (coolly) stares down at Kuchiki Hakuto’s darker purple eyes, and watches with horrified fascination as the second year grins like a cat. She was...cautious. Mostly because his reiatsu was strong, and he was infamous for having been adopted into the Main Family as a possible candidate for an heir. 

And, he was also an unholy amalgamation of Shihouin Yoruichi, and a bit of some people called ' _Gin Ichimaru_ ' and ' _Aizen Sousuke_ ' in hushed tones. 

"Hi!" the boy chirps at Homura accompanied by a wide, beaming smile. "So, where's the rukon girl?" and Homura notes that all students had already fled the scene.

"The _rukon girl's_ name is Hakkotsu Momiji," Homura pauses. "Kuchiki-san."  

 He smiles again, and this time, it is sinister, with shadows arcing over his eyes. "You  _do_ realize people are going to whisper, right?"

"Let them, then." Homura scoffs, but tension eases through her frame, as Kuchiki had a point. This was her own opinion. The Shiba had nothing to do with it.

Kuchiki Hakuto only smiles wider, and Homura is unnerved from how similar yet vastly different his cat-likeness was from Yoruichi-san. "You don't seem so confident in your stance, Shiba-chan." the second year commentates slyly. "Are you even sure you know what you're doing?"

Homura freezes and feels nerves settle into her bones. And she realizes that yes, she isn't. She doesn't know how Kukaku-san would react. They are kind, but the status quo of people had opinions. Homura feels Akemi crawl back into her skin, a lonely girl lost in the sands of time. But then Akemi was a wraith of the past blessed in a way that opinions were of no consequence to her, and her problems were--they weren't--

"Whoa, wait! Breathe, Shiba-chan!"

Shiba flinched back, shoving Akemi violently into that awful chest of memories. Wine-dark purple eyes slanted at hers, and an exhale reverberated in the air. "Oh jeez, I can't believe I almost killed the Shiba Prin-- _gwah!"_

Shiba Homura was patient. Shiba Homura was a girl whose exact age was largely unknown, who ran through time for various lives. Shiba Homura was told by her uncles, her foster-mother, her aunts, and everyone else, that she was a backbone of steel, fire, and absurd loyalty forged in phoenix blaze that shook even the managers of the afterlife. And Shiba Homura, in this hallway where she was being questioned of her loyalty (a grave fucking 404 error), snapped, as she brought back a fist, coated it in her _crackling-starlight-fire-night-flowers_ reiatsu, and axled Kuchiki Hakuto in the gut.

In short, Homura's thoughts could have been: " _Fuck the Aristocratic Social Hierarchy._ "

The long-haired boy doubled-over and wheezed as Homura glared down at him with the power and heat of the Goddess Kali. "Rude. I thought the Kuchiki taught their scions better than accosting a girl's personal space and questioning their loyalty in the hallway corner."

"I thought the Shiba learned to pick their battles." Hakuto wheezed with a painful grin. 

"Bold of you to assume this was even a battle, Kuchiki." 

Homura pauses with her blood boiling in defiance and reiatsu wriggling like angry vines inside her skin. When Kuchiki Hakuto stood doubled over for far too long, she kneels to offer assistance to the infirmary. The ex-puellae magi is surprised when Kuchiki bellows in loud, raucous laughter. 

"I like you!" Kuchiki chirps, and Homura has to avoid his face and lean back as he grins in a manic way. "You're Shiba Homura, the Shiba Princess, right? I like you! You're interesting!"

"I-ah." Homura blinks. "T-Thank you...?"

"You're not supposed to thank someone you just punched!" he shrieks in utter joy and Homura is highly confused as he slaps her shoulder. "God, I thought you might have been some egocentric powerhouse when you were here, but you're just a confused puppy! It's **_adorable_**!" 

It's thirty minutes later after Hakuto has been dropped off the infirmary and two classes had been finished, and Homura is accosted by a beaming Hakkotsu in a crowd with Karin, Yuzu, Mami, and Madoka, when he pops out a bouquet of (obviously-but-artfully arranged) handpicked wildflowers and declares, before the whole student body with that blasted smile,  _"SHIBA-CHAN, MARRY ME!"_

Homura promptly clicked her jaw shut in the radio silence (barring Yuzu's muffled squeal) and replies a choked _"No, I respectfully decline, thank you."_   before passing out because  _what the fuck._

(Afterwards, the cackling letters from everyone at home makes Homura's cheeks and ears burn. Hakkotsu's giggling did not help matters either.)

* * *

It is during the end of the last semester that the trouble finally stirs. Homura feels confident that she did well in the Kido exams. Zanjutsu was a bit hard, but she had practiced with Kyoko so she was probably above passable. Her Hohou was praised again as _'Third to the Onmitsukido and Goddess of Flash'_ which she demurred politely, because Homura knew that as fast as she had gotten without time stop, the Captains could still outmatch her. And lastly, Homura was proud of her Hakuda. It paid off that Yoruichi and Sui-Feng themselves did not go easy on her, as it prepared her for any tricks or maneuvers that her opponent might pull. 

(Recently, the three of them had gotten into watching Aikido matches, and Homura asked her two mentors if Aikido's graceful, flowing movements could be incorporated into Hakuda. Homura did not know if the interested faces  of her teachers bode well or not. Either way, she was willing to learn.)

Those aside, Homura felt quite accomplished in Kido because she had been the highest second to Madoka, and had managed up to Number 79, _Kuyo Shibari._ She was slightly concerned to find that Hakkotsu was not with them. The timid girl was nowhere to be found. Homura thought that Hakkotsu may have been at their dorms, but she was not there either. Much to her chagrin, she did not manage to find the girl, and the sun was slowly moving west.

"Oh, Shiba-chan! What a coincidence!" 

Homura sighed. "Kuchiki." 

"Don't be so cold!" Hakuto laughed as he slung an arm around her shoulder. "You're my senpai after all, aren't you supposed to assist me?"

"As far as I can see, you have perfect eyesight, don't suffer any grievous injury, and are able to visibly plummet my mood by simply breathing the same airspace as I am." Homura replied tersely. "I'd say you're just fine." 

"So mean!" Hakuto cooed. "Looking for the rukon girl?"

Homura's eyes turned cold. "If you did anything to Momiji--"

"I wouldn't. She's not even my type." Hakuto replied in a voice that booked no argument. "I know what happened,but you have to promise not to go all _Kurosaki Ichigo_ on her offenders."

Homura really wanted to ask why Ichigo-san's name was now used as an...adjective? adverb?, but first things first. "Was it Asagiri Kanae?" 

Hakuto shot Homura a pointed look. "Yes, it was Asagiri Kanae." The Kuchiki scion felt his companion's weird, spinny reiatsu which was  _stars-night-fire-moon-flowers_ bubble ominously. "No Kurosaki here, not yet."

" ** _I will tear her family down to shreds._** " Homura hisses and  _oh, damn,_ Hakutoactually found that terrifying. Kinda hot, but terrifying. He thinks he has a type.

"Yeah, but sequence of events first, okay?" And when Homura's shoulders had loosened enough and her reiatsu had not-quite-retracted into mangling-purpose big cat claws, Hakuto began to speak. Apparently, earlier in the day, the Kanae heiress had the same class as Momiji. Things had gotten competitive in their Kido exams, and when Momiji was three spells ahead of Asagiri, and was casting Hado Fifty-five, a spell called  _Mokurinka,_ Asagiri had visibly 'tripped' to the side and sent Momiji tumbling down and the spell spinning haywire. It would have been nice if there were no casualties but the surroundings and the caster, but Asagiri had been, in a strange instant karma episode, the one to be hit. Thankfully, Momiji's spell was incomplete, and missed her by a hair's breadth, but Asagiri's arm was unluckily mangled. 

"So," Homura looks up at Hakuto, an unholy light in her eyes. "You're a witness, along with probably a ton of other students." 

Hakuto beams. "Well, I think Asagiri may have been trying to get my attention these past few weeks, but I only have eyes for you." he pauses. "Five dates."

Homura purses her lips, and her mantra is _this is for Momiji, this is for Momiji_. "Two."

"Three, take it or leave it!" Hakuto chirps.

Homura sighs in defeat and shakes his hand. "...Fine. deal. Help me round up witnesses. I'm calling someone."

As she runs away, Hakuto shouts after her a confused  _"whooo?"_

And Homura, with an evil, evil, yet purely yamato nadeshiko smile, replies, _"A cousin!"_

* * *

 

Ichigo had been finishing up with the Fifth's paperwork, and he honestly felt really badly for Toshiro now. Not that Shinji wasn't responsible, in fact, he was kinda better than Rangiku-san that he actually sat down and power moved through the piles and piles of files for brand new information on hidden societies, but he kind of understood where the tiny captain's anger came from now. Thank god for Hinamori Momo's quick filekeeping methods.

"Hinamori-san, good afternoon," a familiar voice asked, and Ichigo grinned when he realized it was Homura. "Is Ichigo-san here? I need his help--"

"Oh, he's right over here, Homura-chan!" Hinamori chirps and opens the door, revealing herself and a ragged Homura who looked like she did shunpo in leaps from the academy to the Fifth. "Ichigo-kun! Homura-chan's here to see you!"

"Yo, Stopwatch," Ichigo said, taking great delight in the  _aw hell really_ look over his baby cousin's face. "You look like a hurricane just passed. What's wrong?"

"I need your help. Academy. Diplomatic things. Also, I agreed to go on three dates with Kuchiki just so he would cooperate and save Momiji." 

Ichigo felt his big brother side flare. "Byakuya?!" on the other hand, Momo cooed and said something about preparing red bean rice, though her eyes were attentive.

Homura choked, scandalized. " _No!"_

Okay, probably another Kuchiki fam then. He'd grill them later. "Okay, so slow down. What happened?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tbh this was done w liberal ctrl+c/v from the bleach wikia bc summer started and I got the heebie jeebies for another plot bunny ugh
> 
> -Hakkotsu Momiji, 3rdYear!Homura, Kuchiki Hakuto, and Asagiri Kanae appearances and notes for them: [ appearance](https://goldefantasia.tumblr.com/post/184483003026/heyyyy-im-back-in-your-cult-fandom-corisanna-i)
> 
> -Hakkotsu: means Bleached Bone, a made-up district name for the 75th Northern Rukongai District. I read that some rukon shinigami used their district names as last names. 
> 
> -Momiji means Maple
> 
> \- Asagiri is "Morning Fog" and Kanae is "Tripod"
> 
> -Mokurinka means "Wood Wheel Flower" and is a made-up Hado #55.
> 
> -also, the Four (formerly 5) Noble Families in order of Bleach canon are Shihouin (1), Kuchiki (2). No other info is given about the 3rd and 4th. The former 5th were the Shiba, but they fell from grace since Kaien's death. They're catapulted into 4th by C46 to ensure that they can keep a closer eye on Homura through the Shiba. 
> 
> -Kamuro are young girls who are assistants to high-class prostitutes called Oiran, which are not expected to sleep with customers. They're primarily performers of arts, and are very well-learned and read. The Kamuro are primarily attendants and give information about the Oiran's likes and dislikes, and what the Oiran thinks of them to the customers who ask. Read more [here](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oiran#Modern_Oiran) and [ here](https://www.tsunagujapan.com/20-facts-you-did-not-know-about-oiran/)!


End file.
